Noir family matters

….but by the time Josef and I go inside, it seems the subject, for now, has reached a stopping point in which to pause 

So, we find Jörn in the kitchen leaning against the counter watching the electric kettle as it makes noise boiling water. His body language and expression is resigned. I don’t know why this disturbs me so

I’d hardly noticed him —so caught up in the terror of such a surreal awakening destroying my previous reality forever that I seem not to be at all in my temporal state of mind 

There are so many levels to sift through still and consider ….and being an analytical sort of person, I cannot rest until I have all aspects noted, labeled and categorized in my mental filing cabinet ….

He wears a deep dark blue Lycra long sleeved, that kind of blue that in the right light looks like a peacock’s feathers and then turns back to navy blue; it is the same color as his track suit running trousers that fit him like a second skin. For a silly moment I wonder over my previous thoughts of him as a stealth ninja; his obsessive need to go running and his well toned torso warrior muscles show right through his t-shirt. It makes me wish to know such silly things ….

as though giddy—

“Are you a berserker?” 

I don’t know why I asked him that

But then I start to laugh—it’s too ridiculous ….

“Get the schnapps,” Josef says quietly, I almost don’t hear and I know it doesn’t register 

I was expecting tea and sat down by the window where the square wood kitchen table is and turned to the window to absently search for deer or coyote but what was handed to me wasn’t tea at all and something more like what my grandmother threw back in the kitchen —peachy but more pretending to be but before I could complain it went directly to my head