The Eliza compartment/parallel story continued

 

there is such emptiness, the fear is it will consume everything that matters

Eliza

The first year after went by in a rushed daze. No sooner had she escaped a stalker that she found herself having to jump and rush every time “the duke” bellowed. Or “dukie” as she silently preferred. 

Why was he called the duke? She did not know nor care because he exhausted her. At first she had taken great pity on him but he wore her thin fast. It was not just the sleep interruptions for all his demands that were in actuality far from emergency and by the way he yelled you would think that he was on fire but it was his constant heckling and suspicious temperament that kept her constantly on edge; one ear always tuned for his shout and —the fear of her safety

So that first year she did not sleep more than three hours together a night. 

While it did keep her from thinking of herself. And it kept her from going anywhere too. And maybe after the first six months she had recovered from the stalker but the anxiety attacks were constant.

Those hours he took his daily naps she would just sit and rock for hours. On the floor in a ball with her arms wrapped around her knees. She would rock. Just like that. For hours. It kept her body from trembling because it just never stopped. 

What happened to Eliza? How did she come to be there? What happened to that extinct family? Cast at sea she was

There had been a poison unleashed by a family member and blood feuds have a way of destroying your will to go on 

But after the first year, the thaw began.

 She started to remember herself 

and it started with anger 

not for herself. It was when the duke set up traps and trapped an animal and then he left it in agony for hours before he finally put it out of its misery 

That animal signified herself somehow, like dead roadkill 

and it made her really angry. Only then did she realize she was also trapped and wondered how long before he’d shoot her to put her out of her misery

And she became very ill. The nights without sleep having to jump at his call and all his demands of chores to satisfy his cares after experiencing the trauma of being a hostage to a so -called friend made her so ill. She looked like a scarecrow, she was so thin and her skin was like parchment and almost gray in color. She caught her own reflection. Mortified. Literally. And only by seeing this she said to her reflection, 

“What have they done to me?”

 but…. After a time in brooding thought ….. 

she decided she’d had enough of playing the pawn 

pawn; fawn….

and so it dawned.Because the best place to hide is in plain sight. And how can anyone reach her, if she was hidden in high ground?