goodnight stories

instead of my ranking of lovers —lol— I feel like grabbing my Linus blanket 

would rather remind myself of warm fuzzy feelings 

tonight alternating; I think of my very first and last best girlfriend because before there were boys we had each other. 

We were six when we met. And I still remember the day and the moment. It was the first grade. 

To “prefix”  ~

We had an evil teacher. I was totally miserable between the home life I had with a belt wielding dad and Mrs Hamilton. God, she was evil. 

Our school was right on the bay. Miami. But when it’s winter there it gets cold— if you’re a Floridian. I really had a misconception of cold until we moved to holland. So anyway, Melanie started in the winter after we had already been in school awhile. 

There are a million funny stories we have from those years but it all started on our playground that winter day.

It was annoying to be dressed by my mom. She had imaginings that I was meant to be a doll and not move in my clothes all day. My hair was down past my waist and the creative hairstyles I was put through were painful; pins and barrettes jabbing in my scalp or too tight braids that gave me migraines. Patent leather shoes she buffed by blowing on them as she buckled me in with strict instructions not to get dirty. 

This winter day? 

The winter coat. This coat was not my choice. I never wanted this coat. I felt humiliated in it. But she saw it at Jordan Marche and dragged me to try it on. No no no no no no no 

I hated it.

It was blackfur!!! Not exactly real. I don’t think. It’s Florida so no—but still, it looked like some bear died for my coat. I totally hated it. It had a bright red belt and red cuffs to make sure I really stood out with my bright red hair. Which made me a target for Mrs Hamilton. She never picked up on the dyslexic thing about me. Instead she called me stupid and jabbed me with her umbrella 

I was miserable 

But Then!!! Things one day changed ….

Across the playground at recess … where I usually played alone on the swing because I was awkward and shy ….but I saw her! Long blond hair flowing like a fairy princess in the wind wearing a powder blue coat and this bright happy face  

So crazy like out of a vision I saw a girl come running to me with arms open wide!!!

Who was she? 

Oh dah the new girl. And she came running to me!

“Teddy bear!!!!”

She ran and hugged me She was always the bold outgoing one. 

That fur coat. But Melanie loved my coat and from then on I was always Teddybear and we were inseparable throughout elementary school until the move away 

It is so funny. Teddybear because of a coat I didn’t like! but then I changed my mind about it because of her. So many great memories of being a kid with her, so many great stories about things we did. Funny phone codes we made up when we were not allowed to use the phone after curfew. The magic eight ball and the giant st Barnard I was terrified of but she rode around the house. So many beautiful weekends on the huge property estate her father owned. It was my only escape from that otherwise hell. She had no idea then how she saved my life, I never told her what happened at home, I never told anyone; but I don’t think I would have made it had we not met