and so, what matters…. 

  what ….white walls ….I detest them

I don’t know why I pick this to write about if only to avoid my mind from thinking anymore — I hate white walls. nothing should be so devoid of pigment so as to enforce such a robotic view on any living thing…. they should not exist. except in museums —if it seems appropriate as ….anyway—I remember staring at the walls at my Bard college dorm room after the assault and noticing how many layers of different color paint I saw peeling off…. like being in a padded cell; no longer any corners as they became rounded with coated paint

but no, my stoic celves in our cell, this does not matter ….it’s just distraction