the psychic visit continued of the JM muse ‘vampire’ chronicles

“I remember the fear the most and this is what lingers most of all from the dream,” I say

It seems everyone is silent now because to process all of this seems impossible

“My big question to you— well, it’s really to both you guys is.... “ Gerald sits yoga style in the arm chair as he speaks, leaning forward, “well let me just start by prefixing all that with this: something has reached its zenith in either one or both your lives which .... for what ever reason, all the energies are lined up— if you could picture an energy force like a football game where all the key team players are set up, so you see the goal is right there and now the shot comes.... well, Jörn , you asked before if I think these are past life memories so, I should answer your question....

“In all my experiences with people I have met where they believe this is true — certain things seem to always be the big tip off of if this is the case. Like in my case when I went to Thailand and met Haley— other people I have known all experience this typical aspect in the initial meeting. First it’s the eyes. The instant recognition. The other key factor is— not to sound sappy — there’s a kind of overwhelming sexual attraction. It’s not the kind where it’s like teenage hormonal infatuation — this is more like the covenant or worship that in this dimension can only be translated sexually but it’s being directed from —actually— the solar plexus. Which I consider the seat of the soul. The sexual energy that happens is just the expression that is best communicated through physical connection but it’s .... actually doing something more. You know about Plato’s description of the Higher Self? While the soul continues to exist after death and in between life, as we get born our minds in physical form cannot comprehend so many lifetimes. It would be too much. So there’s a part of us that holds all those memories of other lifetime’s of emotions and memories.... this super consciousness.... almost like the super ego in psychology.....how all that manifests itself is this sexual energy because the mind and body can understand it through this sexual level of consciousness.... have I lost you or am I sounding like a complete guru weirdo?”

I smile and look at Jörn. He seems tense I notice.... his brows drawn.

He seems uncomfortable and stretches but stands up. He walks to the window and looks down below at the street. From there we watch him as he leans on the window frame.

He turns from the window and walks over,
“if it were not for these crazy dreams I would think you were nuts right now but —“ he hits his chest hard, “but these emotions I get from the dreams— I watch her die and it’s .... terrible! It’s so real to me that it —it’s too hard to sleep after. I can’t sleep after. I have to get up and play my music for a few hours until I can stop thinking about it.”

“So— can you describe for us —or is it too much right now?”

“You mean tell you how she dies?” he glances at me when he says this

“Yes. What happens?” Gerald asks

Jörn sits down and leans over, he runs a hand through his hair and studies the rug under his feet. He sighs quietly and slowly breathes in. He says,
“I am returning from a boat and I start to run for— it’s like how she described— a kind of hut and I run there somehow knowing.... I dread as I run because— I feel it....” Jörn lays his hand flat on his heart

“When I get to the hut I see her.... “ his voice actually cracks as he says this. He stops talking and shakes his head looking down. He covers his eyes and face. After a long pause he says, “this reaction I feel inside myself.... it’s too real to be just a dream.... “

“So you watch her die?”

“Yes.”

“Is there blood?”

“Yes....” he sighs, “when I go to take her in my arms .... I feel her pass away because she waited for me to come, she knew I’d come.... but I was too late.”

Gerald looks at me,
“didn’t you tell me that you were assaulted when youwere 18?”

I nod.

“Do I remember this right— were you left for dead?”

I nod.