Part 1 the psychic visit of the JM muse chronicles

When we go to meet with Gerald we visit him at his apartment; a modest walk up by the Metropolitan Museum. He has a lot of earthy rugs everywhere and a lot of tones of orange and red and there are a variety of plants everywhere in gorgeous earthenware pots. I notice hand made pottery is also everywhere.

Gerald is what anyone would call a nerd and he often calls himself this too, so I am not insulting him by saying this. I am also one myself so I cannot judge against this in anyone. I knew him years ago during my bookstore days, those days when people met at Borders on a Saturday night for coffee and  to watch some grunge band that would be playing live at the cafe

Back in those days when I was knee deep in Virginia Woolf and Baudelaire he did the occult section and he was going for his doctors degree in religious studies and metaphysics. You would not think it to look at him; he goes to the gym and has neatly cut brown hair and wears square black framed glasses —the same kind as me actually. He wears a very ordinary dark blue knit pullover with Levis and thick brown socks. You would not think he was a New Age Medium.

So we take off our shoes and come in

He offers us herbal tea and after making quite a ceremony of preparing it in front of us, we are only too glad to agree. He asks us if we prefer music and samples a few as he invites us to sit down

The sofas are grouped in two areas and both spots have book cases filled with books with tables. He selects some background music and begins lighting candles

He does all this as if it is simple as going to have your taxes done —only no, but that’s not really all that simple then

But, anyway, in all this time Gerald is looking at the both of us and staring, at times, at Jörn .... he seems very focused as he studies both of us

“So tell me about these dreams....” Gerald says casually folding his arms and leaning back on the armchair he sits in

Jörn looks at me awkwardly and nervously pushes up the sleeves of his thick gray sweater

“I told him about your dreams,”  I say by way of explanation as I look at Jörn’s eyes as he now looks away


....and then he looks back at me. He keeps looking into me.... he stares into my eyes but says aloud to Gerald,

“the dreams began after the first time I saw her in the lobby—no! It was before that....” he mumbles under his breath in Swedish as he thinks; drops his eyes and turns to Gerald,”they started when I began reading her blog. I had not seen her yet —did she tell you? I kept getting her mail. The damn postal person kept fucking up and so— I got curious —I don’t know—and looked her up —so I found her blog. There was her picture at the profile part and that’s when I saw her. It’s an odd picture as she is obscured. Like one who is hiding .... like the shadow of her too on the blog page. But.... the dreams .... like when they first began they were first just these chilling shadows —“ he stops and shudders, then continues, “then I saw her in the lobby that day talking to these two irritating English guys and this time I could see her eyes clearly.... it was like seeing—a ghost or.... that night I have the dream again.... this time....I see her in the dark.... obscured. The first time. Just her eyes glowing....afraid.... but this time I see her eyes —wide and scared and then always someone comes and she screams....”

Gerald looks at me,
“Are you ok?”

I feel strange. I say,
“I didn’t know that.... he didn’t tell me this.”

Gerald takes a long sip from his cup,
“usually when I get a strong feel this way about a person it turns out that a very important turning point is in the process of occurring. Usually. But in this case we have three people with similar dreams. Did Dawn tell you that I had a dream about you and I called her out of the blue—we haven’t talked since—what? Five years?”

“At least,” I say

“We’ll text sometimes—but you know how it is, she was living in Michigan for like the last ten years and.... now she’s back and — I think there’s something significant about.... why all this —and the timing —or really more while for me it’s a strong hunch but that it feels like a memory to you guys ....”

“Is that what it is then?” Jörn asks with a self conscious shrug. “Are you suggesting we knew each other from a past life?”

“Before I answer that, tell me —where you are in your spiritual belief system? Are you religious?”

He smiles,
“I’m Swedish.... we are not big on religion and for the most part I agree with that .... but.... however—there are some things I feel that I suppose you would call spiritual speculations.... about things. I mean—you know what I mean, I think?”