Dreams Everlasting part 2/Electra’s dictionary Noir

 

What was it he just said….? I find I am stuck on other thoughts….but his words repeat in echo in my mind. I keep thinking about ….the time when first I ever saw him

My mind is stuck there. Why am I focused on ….the bats?

Because it was the first weird sense that I got. I remember now I thought of Bella Lugosi. That was the sense; the very first impression—how strange I suddenly can remember every detail of this….but I have not thought of this for so long

What did he just say?

….obtuse

“We’re not going anywhere,” he says now after having once again walked to the window and peered into the darkness, which now glows in that strange light of light through fog. Is it the moon?

Again, my mind is in some weird loop. I feel I am not here nor—am I there…no I am thinking now of Gerald— so many odd little things. I get a chill and shudder.

I feel something heavy thrown over me. I look up at him. By the scent of it, I know what it is

It is a hide

Instantly I am warmed by it. But it plays tricks with my head. I should be thinking about all these paradoxes…. Gerald… 

Jörn, has been watching me. I now look up at him—but i am not seeing him as…. I am not seeing him in the present now; it is something else….it is something I know and so very well; I have known it in dreams in ….both present and —past….

“You can be,” he says again and paces back over to me….he looks down at me and reaches to touch me

It is as if it all happens in slow mo…. Overlapped… the fire pit….the welding pot…I see this instead ….but I am as if hypnotized to his vampire eyes, they glow like kryptonite; they glow like the blue of a moon

It is as if time is suspended. I came to the Catskills to get away; to think; to clear my head. But the building—the renovated country home of my late biological father’s ….feels like a tomb; it is so empty and void of anything living or lifelike. 

Pulling up to the property had felt thrilling. At first— but, to be honest, I felt like ….I had exposed my deepest place of weakness; what it was/is I am unable to put into words. Just a sense that there was something very signific a trigger point, I suddenly feel; like a reminder to something else

What did he just say?

“Oh, the winter storm….” 

Only, it feels so insignificant to the storm brewing within. I move myself from where I have been frozen for long moments of feeling such a strange sense. I walk the longest way around the room before I reach him by the window again; the hide around my shoulders…. But i just look at him from the corner of my eye and then walk the length of the room in a kind of circle back to the place I had been standing. Only now do I really comprehend that I stand by the mantle of the fireplace

He glances over at me,

“There’s dry wood in the shed, I noticed before—the power lines might be damaged, that’s why there is no heat or electric,” he says this as he walks towards me slowly, all the while he is focused on my eyes. When he reaches me, he is just inches away, his eyes intent upon mine as his bore into me like kryptonite; he says,

“I’ll go get some logs, but he stays there a moment before he says, “to build a fire….”

Maybe it was the words. Maybe it was the sense. But i knew we were not really there—not really….and the sick sense I needed to know what the shroud was hiding which so long I have been hiding under….

I force mayself away from him. I walk to the window. It is this knowing that draws me to look ….at the hide in the glow of the light….the scent fills my head but it is like a wrench in my soul that I feel it as I see the dark old stain of old faded blood that colors the hide a ghostly hue of alizarin crimson

Electra’s dictionary noir/ more bats in the belfry

I find myself feeling a moment of dèjá vu. My head feels so fogged that I feel the need to shake my head as if to clear it. And bang my head on the wall I'm pinned to as the motion throws me with more force than I had meant to 

It doesn’t hurt. It more wakes me up, on a level 

Jörn drops his grip on me and walks back to the window to peer out; his long legs move like a predator seeking his target and ….that thought makes me think about memories of Elan; Elan’s memories that is 

I feel an ice cold chill, as if I put my hand in ice water ….i think of the boat now when I think of water ….cold ….so cold 

I look over at Jörn who seems bored now with the view into the darkness of night. He turns to watch me thoughtfully crossing his arms across his chest. He wears his Swedish trench coat pushed up his long forearms and I see his muscles flex there. As if he is thinking of crushing something but his eyes are on me 

“What is that word you always like to say about yourself?” and he smiles as he starts to walk towards me thoughtfully 

“I don’t know which one you mean….” I say 

“‘Obtuse’ —that’s the one…. It is interesting ….” he smiles that way 

     ….and I think of him as I remember him from thst night so long ago ….and when the shadows of bats first came to me ….when we first met—first met?

He stops near me and cups my face by my chin as he studies my eyes,

“you can be.”

Electra’s dictionary Noir/the man with the vampire eyes

“So why did you follow me here?”

I watch as he walks to the window, he looks out into the night’s darkness, then he turns and looks at me, 

“do you have any idea what is really going on here?” 

“The shadows on the wall…. started to give it away,” I say and back away a little 

“The shadows?” his gaze even in the dark room seem to glow like kryptonite 

“They look like bats on the wall,” I say but I keep moving back from him even as he notices I do, “at first I thought ….”

He backs me up to the wall and pins me there, his hand going up the back of my neck as he twists his fingers in my hair to hold me there,

“what did you think, duva?”

“I thought I dreamed them but I realized ….you’ve been spying on me with drones all this time!” I reach to free his grasp 

He laughs, 

“you really think I have drones watching you? You were closer to accurate when you were dreaming —what if I told you ….no, let’s not do this here, let’s not talk about it now ….”

“What?” but I notice something odd about his face which I’d never noticed before …. “Jörn ….why did you ask about Gerald?” I say this as I watch his pulse beating blue through his skin and reach to turn his face to me ….his eyes …. “Jörn ….” but now I hear it, something in his breathing and watch that strange glow of electric and I whisper, “the time in the stairwell too …. but ….what is it—it’s something, isn’t it—I mean —why bats?”

Suddenly he grins in that way as he watches my eyes as if expecting me to say something but ….the words never form

I will come to you in your time of need~I am your angel of mercy/e.d.noir

I will come to you in your time of need~I am your angel of mercy 

“I had a weird dream,” I tell Jörn

“So you decided to trade one New York mountain destination for another, was it meant to throw me off? Because you shouldn’t underestimate my tracking skills, you should know that by now,” he says

“Why do you imagine everything is about you?” I ask him 

We are in the upstate home in the Catskills that, yes, I fled to in order to get away and maybe it was to get away from Jörn and his games and his drama or maybe it was just to get away 

Even still it was true what I said 

“What was the dream? Did you tell Gerald?” Jörn walks slowly towards me 

I move in another direction,

“do you see the masonry is completed from the last time we were here. Do you remember when we were here? Do you remember that day Jörn?”

rebirth of Venus

a long abandoned false self, not even noticed, frees me of it 

I only feel it in my awareness, as I feel it, as it disintegrates 

why did I let it cling for so long…. I wonder at its flimsy significance 

~that was never me

1st teaser look at reworking the Viking swords

 

West Coast Sunflower (Oregon)

East Coast Sunflower (New York)

Captioned hook

 

“Oh no, they’re here!” Lily leaned up against the door she had just come through 

“Hey Miss Tiger!”

“Shut up John!” Michael said and blew a spit wad at him 

“It’s ‘Tig-ghere’, stress on the second syllable, you dolt!”

“What’s a dolt?” John looked at his brother 

“You idiot!” Michael said 

“Now, now, what’s this all about?” Wendy walked into the room with the coffees, “I could hear all of you from the coffee machine!”

“They’re here!” Lily said having now walked away from the door and was peering out the office window that overlooked the parking lot below as she absently brushed imaginary lint off of her pumpkin colored sweater which had a collar that looked like flower petals around her face 

Wendy calmly put down the tray with their coffees and walked across the room to join Lily by the window 

“Did you talk to them? They seem nice from here….”

“From here?” Lily looked at Wendy, “do you have an eagle eye? I don’t get your optimism. I mean…. I was running late so—I realized who they were because of ….you know, the car….”

Wendy tried to look better into the parking lot,

“Did you see it?”

Suddenly John and Michael joined them by the window hoping for a glimpse of the much talked about vehicle 

But Lily seemed bored now and shrugged, walking away from the window,

“I don’t think he came here in it—but I mean I realized who it was because of the car—you know, the stretch limo the Darlings always use to fetch corporate shitheads.”

Well, they had spent so much talking awhile they didn’t realize how close until the footsteps landed and the office door swung open

There was George Darling with two others; a man (kind of boyish) in a very smart and neat Scottish green tweed suit and a woman (small in statue; a petite pixie) dressed in a pink herringbone jacket and skirt suit wearing pink bowed pumps with tiny kitten heels. 

“Let me introduce our new clients from Nether—nether….ha-chew!!!” Mr.Darling sneezed, “land….” he said and paused to blow his nose

“Never never land?” John looked at Michael 

“Nederland!” this is when the new client in the Scottish green tweed business suit stepped forward. It seemed as if he suddenly grew quite tall but agile and yet somehow sprite; and once seen in the light almost gleamed with a magic that surrounded him, like an aura of charisma and with it like a torch, his hair was a flame of reddish blond, its luster like electricity,

“Pieter,” he at which point said by way of introducing himself, going straight first to Wendy Darling, “Pan…. just flew in today—do you like to fly? Wendy, is it?”

John elbowed Michael remembering the memo now about them. The girl—uh—woman—he and Michael had spent the afternoon looking her up on Instagram 

“TeenykayBell!” John suddenly laughed 

“It’s Tinker Bell!” Michael said with an admonished whisper everyone heard 

“What the fuck is a tinkerbell?—no—it’s actually Tina Kerbell—but I go by Teen not Tina,” she made a point to correct 

Then she noticed the pretty pumpkin colored sweater she recognized from a picture in a magazine in the shade—and she blurted it suddenly—“Tiger!”

But by kneejerk reaction thus came the offended reply,

“Lily!”