Electra’s dictionary noir/ more bats in the belfry

I find myself feeling a moment of dèjá vu. My head feels so fogged that I feel the need to shake my head as if to clear it. And bang my head on the wall I'm pinned to as the motion throws me with more force than I had meant to 

It doesn’t hurt. It more wakes me up, on a level 

Jörn drops his grip on me and walks back to the window to peer out; his long legs move like a predator seeking his target and ….that thought makes me think about memories of Elan; Elan’s memories that is 

I feel an ice cold chill, as if I put my hand in ice water ….i think of the boat now when I think of water ….cold ….so cold 

I look over at Jörn who seems bored now with the view into the darkness of night. He turns to watch me thoughtfully crossing his arms across his chest. He wears his Swedish trench coat pushed up his long forearms and I see his muscles flex there. As if he is thinking of crushing something but his eyes are on me 

“What is that word you always like to say about yourself?” and he smiles as he starts to walk towards me thoughtfully 

“I don’t know which one you mean….” I say 

“‘Obtuse’ —that’s the one…. It is interesting ….” he smiles that way 

     ….and I think of him as I remember him from thst night so long ago ….and when the shadows of bats first came to me ….when we first met—first met?

He stops near me and cups my face by my chin as he studies my eyes,

“you can be.”