….and so in that moment of dazed confusion and slightly stunned
I eject out of my head sitting there with them and think about ….my grandmother ….then my mother and their instructions in life
Such as, “you could do better,” my mother would say about every boy I brought home
and for the rest of her short life
And in this foggy state of surreality ….I think, “well just because I could do better does not mean there is any better out there to be had ….they are all creeps, liars, frauds who fuck with your head for the laugh….there is no point even bothering to look for better, you know?”
So
I sit there pondering this quite seriously.
…. Because it is so true. They don’t exist. And I think, like “there is no human.capable.of—of…. fuck, whatever—and besides that they mostly love themself more or their body part to even bother to get their head out of their ass, how could one of those ever fucking get me?”
Why are they looking at me that way….?
Oh god —did I just say all of that out loud?
No comments:
Post a Comment