Deep smörgås noir

 

I cannot turn back; that is to say, I cannot undo where I am, it is where I —am at

so thus surrender, there is nothing else for it…. and the water in the tall glass is held to my face and

for a dumb and long moment it seems I am frozen on the precipice of ….sheer and ridiculous epsilon soundlessness and decide that it is best to just give up to it ….

and drain 

the glass

the dots disappear.but that could be just coincidence 

So there is Josef —what….?no, I don’t wonder as he is at the end of the long table waiting for us with ….a strong sense I get

like a ‘disturbance in the force, ….Luke’

only he smiles at me as I walk into the room and I’m not sure what it is but a surreal sense of Fanny and Alexander 

Only, instead….. Josef comes over to me snd takes a firm grip of my arm as I feel Elsa let me go. And so maybe it is the concussion as I seem to feel so removed from myself. Almost as if I don’t care about any possible consequence anymore 

As though I have really abandoned myself to the will of chaos because ….well, maybe it would do a better job with my life than I have trying to always keep my feet on the ground 

carpet ride is clearly needs must  immediately because there in Josef’s expression is this highly tolerant look of indulgence that appears before he just lightly pushes my arm so that losing my balance I fall into that —convenient seat; flop. Land with an unfortunate sound that carries more humor with the following silence  

“So….” Josef says as if all of us know what is about to happen 

I look around for cues. Andreas sighs with irritation but takes a seat at the other end. Elsa sits near next to me on the left as Josef, with a dramatic flare clears his throat loudly and looks at Jörn. Everyone is looking at Josef looking at Jörn. Which Josef knows. Then he points to s chair as he glares at Jörn 

There is a dramatic sigh from Josef as he rolls his eyes 

“Duvan ….” Josef says as he looks at me

Why do I feel like I am on the edge of s cliff 

“The Svenska Opera House stands s chance of becoming a liquidation …..”  he stares at me with —that note of his son’s kryptonite; now I know where it originated 

“Is that the right word?” Josef looks at Andreas

I look too. Andreas shrugs and appeals to me with a shrug,

“they are saying that they do not want a Swede as a property owner there—basically— is what I get.”

I am further lost. 

I look at Josef. But Josef looks uncomfortable. 

I feel Elsa pat my arm,

“they are trying to say that we are in trouble unless we find an American wife for Jörn.”