looking back now, it is hard to remember all the little details ….as my phone was separated from me at the time
but it seemed such an enormously long while that the truck drove as the pace it was at and all without incident
I suppose too that during that time I was lulled into a hypnotic feeling of focused calm as I reflected intently ….upon truly everything …. the immediate situation I found myself in…. the state of the world and things going on in countries everywhere…. Sunny and the life I have been living underground—no, I meant undercover as ….as….
Beth who is what yet again ….what am I, who am I ….and what the fuck am I doing here?
I thought about the neighbors, the author/actor who ….
and how or why do I find myself again in danger and there seeming no way out….?
Yes I think about this, I remember this part well, thoughts going in circles as I martyred myself with unkind words aloud over how sad my life turned out and angry at…. oh…. but it no longer seems worth it you see….you know….anymore….as the truck rolled on….and I thought: this is a professional driver , not a regular criminal, exactly, because I can feel the attention he takes as he rounds the curves….yes, he…. as I heard a cough earlier on …. And so I think…. Was he hired only to transport ….? Or does he even know I am in here? ….scream? I decide against this based on a strong hunch
Instead I just play with the Volvo buttons snd levers as I look for how to start the engine
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