“Do you really mean to go through with this?” I look up into the light glints of kryptonite
They glance up at the camera,
“of course it is your choice….”
is this the dark ages, I find I wonder ….?
a time when there can be no Renaissance nor evolution
and no new faith to strive for ….enlightenment
apathy seems to have sunk into my pores
it seems that it is possible to become desensitized to the witnessing of horrors and living in dangerous times
the true meaning of depression is the absence of emotion; a disconnection to meaning
recession and the great depreciation; the more things change the more things stay the same
I stare at the wall to the right of the camera and notice more of those odd swirl designs that remind me of Celtic symbols. I lean back against the leather sofa but I whisper,
“you just want to search for more codes…..”
That sound he makes in his throat I recognize; I know every tone he never needs to annunciate just by his subtle inflections…. how easily I’ve fallen for every minute suggestion; of eyes, of voice, of touch and ….scent …. they put me under
“You are free to go,” that seductive voice now does say to me
I look back up and past the lenses disguised by artful design; I search…. so very desperately ….for meaning
do I imagine that I hear his music playing? do I imagine I hear him say “min lilla duva….”
as the lab coated blond walks to the desk and then…. I hear a click…. the room is filled with the voice of Dr. Rothschild ….and I remember in rewind….
“Go to your safe place….”
I remember ….
She says,
“tell me what you see….”
And I hear my own voice fill the room as I watch the swirls on the wall that repeat the pattern of the carpet …. woven in my mind ….and draw me down inside them like a spell
I am drifting aimlessly on a raft in an endless ocean. I am drifting to nowhere with no connection to anything
I am drowning in nothingness
I see the stars in the sky, some five pointed and some six; I see hammers and the crucifixes which mark souls lost in time
I hear my voice say
“I am in a green and shaded grove….that is the last time I saw him….”
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