Dictionary, diary

There are these moments in the midst of crisis when sometimes the mind wanders off—only after that breaking point of the mind when there has been no relief from the crisis — it’s had enough, I guess, so it takes a holiday without any consultation to rational; it occurred during my assault I recall; I thought of others going about as though everything was all right —and you wonder how they can but…. that is life and the world is big —yes it has happened to me time and again ….fear is so exhausting and then there you are in a mental Disneyland as the shit goes down ….the mind is weird ….and it occurred to me the other day that it seems so silly —as far as the drama of events in my own life ….so it occurred to me that, my life—now has come to feel as though the creator of my life has lost the plot, so is just making up all sorts of shit just to ….what? I really don’t know ….watch that boat adrift as the bombs go off and spin on that mad tea cup ride