Noir Pandemic descends (edjmmusechron) 18 March 2020

dictionary,

logging passing thoughts....

it has been a strange week awaiting the descent with the news of the world and a kind of creepy global quiet you can feel

even while there is a withdrawing of society in quarantine, it still tries reaching with its tentacles by other means, tolling the doomsday alarm clocks



*****

the house feels different this time without everyone

unless it is just my mood that I must temper from its tendency for cynicism over the state of social and human evolution  —no matter how tempting it is to dwell

like being hurled by the tail of the balrog with Gandalf facing doom as we reflect on the foibles of humanity

.... I think I would rather defer to the wizard than wish to take any of this on


I stare out from the window seat looking out into the wet and thawing view outside ....that slopes down a mountain in a muddle of pines and skeletal trees —now still thatched with clumps of thawing snow

I hear Jörn finishing a call with his father when he walks into the kitchen and finds me in the window seat with my feet up

“Vad gör du?” he asks just now returning from his run and ending the phone call with his father

“Ingenting.”

“ingenting,” he corrects me

“Didn’t I say that?”

He sits down where my feet are   and takes hold of my feet and puts them in his lap but leans over to emphasis with his hand how my mouth should be shaped and repeats the word

He says,
“ingenting.”

“Oh.... ok.... “ I shrug, “hur mår din far?”

“Hmm?” he shakes his head and shrugs, “what was that?”

“Well I just asked you —“ I get my phone to check myself and show him

“How did you say that?” he asks me

I start to get up because I see he’s making fun of me but he pulls me back as I say, “I’m so sorry I bastardize your language, Jörn—” and he sits me down in front of him

“You don’t, I’m sorry!“ but he’s laughing at me, “I’m just teasing you—”

“Shit!— skit!— fuckit, Jörn! why should I even try if—“ but stop and look at his eyes, “you look tired, are you ok?”

He gives me an odd look,
“I’m just stressed out,” only I see I have made him paranoid as he feels his own head but then he says, “I feel better knowing where everyone is.”

“So where is Hanna?”

“She’s still stuck in Nevada with Erik in the middle of a desert—well, practically. But I told her she’s better off there then if she were to come here.”

“Nevada? How did she end up there?”

“It was for a modeling gig in Las Vegas—“

“Were they gambling?”

Jörn gives me a look and shakes his head in this way that says he doesn’t want to talk about it but says,
“and I guess they ran into some musical producer there and —guess what? This is very Hanna —she has her whole band there so they’re recording an album in some studio in the middle of the desert.”

I laugh,
“that is awesome!” I think about that and then say,
“that is probably the best creative method to produce material—bored in the middle of nowhere,” I point out—then I ask, “and Andreas is with his girlfriend— where did you say?”

“Binghamton, her family is from there,” Jörn says and absently starts massaging my feet through my socks which —hurt and tickle at intervals

“Your hair is getting long,” I notice freeing my feet from his hands as I move into his lap to tug his hair free of the tie as he shakes it out

“The person in the city who does it has been sick,” he tells me

“You should let me trim it,” I say as I put my fingers through it and play with it noticing split ends

“Why would I do that?”

“Because I’m good at it and I know what looks good on you—unless you don’t trust me ....”

“Is that a test?” he asks me and stands up, lifting me with him and starts towards the staircase and then walking up the stairs with me

“So what if it is—do you trust me or should I tie you up?” I ask him

He puts me down when we reach the bathroom but gives me an imponderable look when I say the last part and starts the shower, stripping out of his running clothes