It is often written, about my biological father; that “he was a great man” and “only once in a lifetime are there men like him” and his followers still talk about him to this day
I don’t know why but I often find myself caught within that web of ….just those self diminishing thoughts or that feeling that I far from compare and ….I hardly ever knew him He did so many things that have helped better people’s lives by the laws he had passed; changed laws—this was his life’s work. sometimes I believe, he from that afterlife place, has continually watched over me. Sometimes. Sometimes it has even felt as if he is physically with me, and even before I knew or remembered I was aware of a strong presence there. But now I think I have disappointed him, I never got to do anything great and I am not nearly as great as he. It makes me sad. Because I remember how his close mates looked at me long ago. They had expectation which then I never understood. But now I do. They thought I’d be great like he was. So I feel bad I didn’t achieve that for him. I can say maybe it’s not a great time to be female because it’s not. Was there ever a good time ….
so I was thinking about him and yet I do remember he was kind. He was very kind to me. So I guess maybe he’d forgive me for not being great and know I tried my best
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