There are those isolated moments in life when it seems the noise all around you stops. You don’t hear the bees or the spinning wheels. Even sirens or car horns all stop. And becomes unimportant because it is all the white noise background in the barrage of firing guns of the drills of life. Doesn’t matter. 

I see now that what I have been searching for has always been present but I never acknowledged.

For so long I have heard the voice of my mother say to me in the back of my mind, “you have everything you need.”

You know, she never said that to me while she was alive. But I have heard her tell me this now from somewhere when I am in that moment of meditational mindless thought. 

But even as I write about being empathic; it really does not matter that I can connect telepathically. The answers were never out there. Perhaps not even the minds. I understand now, I think. Her words. 

I think I realize why I have been a magnet of dangerous personalities. 

I had thought it was some kind of punishment to me but it was something else. Something they sought to take that I never noticed was there….as—yes—they always come back to me ….when they realize they needed me more ….but I never noticed ….

And what I have searched for was never to be found

the riddle 

is 

now I see

….it was to be found