Electra’s dictionary & film noir;Notes to a stranger & codes/then it is you

name yourself

*******

The nightmares have returned —but I only realize as I walk through Sunny’s forest, there had been another last night…. as it now comes back to me; there is still something dark that is buried there that I am still hiding from 

But as I hike through leaves and branches on my way to find the right path which leads to that hunter’s hide, I see the clearing and the two objects ….and as I walk past them I see the path that leads to the hide which looks like a little gray house with dark green camouflage tree branches painted on it like all the others on Sunny’s hunting grounds. The small building structure is sat on tall metal props that elevate it high; like a treehouse, it is tree level and for a moment I seem to just stare at it as I compare it to the photo in the email attachment and…. I get a chill; a kind of shudder as if I get a sense of fear

I walk the rest of the distance to reach it, take a deep breath as I circle it, walking towards the front, where the ladder is that leads up to a door…. and— for just a quick moment as I get a jolt, I pause to take a deep breath and then climb the tall ladder slowly as I feel my knees start to tremble. With growing dread, I force myself to not think as I continue my climb to the top. And, once there, I feel myself trembling even more by now, then forcing out thought, haul myself up the landing with both hands. I land neatly in a quiet thud, then carefully I test the wood of the landing with my weight on it 

And as the landing proves sound, I test myself to walk two steps ….carefully to the front door and pause…. hold my breath…. and, squeezing my eyes shut, grab the door handle which looks like a regular old brass doorknob that you would have found in some old house from the 1940s….It turns with difficulty but manages to unfasten and now I start to pull open the door, at first very carefully, only about a centimeter —and peak in….but I don’t have to as —at that moment I hear Jörn’s cough just before he says, 

“yes it’s me duva…. it’s safe….”

Only he should have prepared me…. and as I swing wide the door, I see his blood everywhere