6 months later: Electra’s dictionary and film Noir/Archetypes and Euphemisms as code(series4)

And so, you may begin to suspect that not all of this is fiction

and that the most unlikely parts are the actual events 

I find that I cannot process this as reality and, as a matter of course, it seems now is the best moment to let readers see how the walls —which are, in fact shield walls, connect and then ….can veer off down hidden paths 

….watch within the walls I dissolve in, in a maze of amazement ….as I type this with trembled fingers as each moment is a step closer to a state of peace 

but until then ….my Noir real world ….in an fbi cocoon 

I pace the rooms as if each is a prison I must escape …. 

simple things like internet access….

 not second guessing every move 

responding to text messages or choosing not to —as I have found my filter of tolerance of anyone who showed their fakenes to me …. has changed me to become a cold bitch to them or my chosen tactic is to just disappear ….gone like a ghost as if they never knew me

I have had these rare moments as I wait for Jörn to arrive where…. I understand now why all these things happened …. it is still a very dangerous world when you are a slight female alone and no matter how clever I may be, my weakness is always my generosity of faith to others and that is my downfall which I have paid again for with my own body 

I watch from the window as I see Jörn arrive but turn away as he looks up…. the last time I saw him was that day in Southampton New York when his parents arrived …..