23 June 2021

Noir room within—Part 4/crumbling walls


It is after quite awhile of searching all the walls for any other possible alternative out of here that I start to feel fatigued of this and the feeling of panic starts to take over. 

I think the worst thoughts now 

and I find I start to blame Jörn. I start to feel such anger about him the more I think. 

And out loud I start to yell at the walls:

“Where is he? Why has he not come for me? When it’s all his fault I’m here!” I get so angry that I kick the walls and I say things aloud in anger at him until in the end I am too tired to rage anymore and then in a feeling of defeat I say, “fuck you, Jörn….” 

but there is no more anger left. And I hear it in my voice…. the disappointment …. as it echoes through the empty room …. my voice cracks and without permission, I feel the tears come…. and right there in that empty square where the safe had been, I collapse into a heap and start to cry …. 

“you never came…. you just left me here…. you didn’t ….come for me….” 

and now think of that sky ….with the glowing sun along the horizon of the water; an empty sea and ….no boat came

and as I keep crying knowing my defeat, I think of the hides covered in blood….

“you did not come…. fuck you, Jörn….” repeating the words with that kind of shock of disbelief in a hopeless mumble, as there seems all I have left —is sorrow, “you did not come….” 

He took the safe and left with my codes —and left me with the monster 

and now ….to rot in another dungeon

“I hate you,” I whisper into my hands…. “why did I believe any of those things? He was only ever after the code….” and stretch across the floor within the square…. “I hate you…. for believing you…. I hate you, I hate you, I hate you….” and let my thoughts drift away in exhausted despair and I suppose I must have fallen asleep and maybe I dreamed

****

It is a high pitched sound that starts to invade my sleep, the kind of irritating sound that reaches within your eardrum to an almost painful level

“What is that?” I say to the empty room, forgetting where I am until I open my eyes. And then sharp pain comes when I attempt to move. Cement floors are not very comfortable to sleep on, and the position I chose was not beneficial, and find I quite regret it now as I force myself to move. My glasses are still on my face too which has only made the situation worse to my head where I can feel it has left an indentation above my right ear

but what is that horrible noise? 

I stand up with a sense of renewed panic of being trapped down here as I try to figure out what direction the sound is coming from, as my worst thought now is: whatever it is, there is no escaping what is coming if it is coming through one of these walls.... 

and so, why do I think of ‘The Poseidon Adventure’ just now? And with that, horror thoughts of a pipe bursting through the walls to drown me....

I run to the walls to listen at each one until I locate which one it is coming from. It is the wall adjacent to the lavatory on one side and the entrance I came through on the other just below where the blinking red light is positioned in the ceiling; I can feel the vibration when I flatten my hand up to it .... and I feel it get stronger 

Instinctively, I start to back away

There is a smell.... almost a kind of burning smell. Is it a chemical? It is almost familiar but I can’t really place it .... but I realize it’s not alarming, somehow. And after awhile the smell gets stronger and then I begin to recognize where I would have known it from. It is the kind of smell you associate with construction sites. And I realize, it is cement that is .... being drilled

And as I stand there watching the wall, I notice it starts to crack .... and while this may or may not be good, I look around the room wondering if I should hide somewhere only.... it might just be better to face whoever it is unless— well.... unless it is the person I closed myself in here to get away from

So I go towards the keyboard and move next to it deciding it would be the only defense weapon I have and put my hand on it as I wait, watching from this part of the room as pieces of wall starts to crumble in and fall onto the floor 




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