And for awhile I sit there still ….I don’t know if it is the surreal reality of some conjured serendipity from a wearied, warped lens of some sleeping monster that causes time to feel so still and so frozen and it makes me shiver as if cold through to my bones and…. I think of Jörn just watching me from a surveillance camera from some other part of the world —like I’m a goldfish in a glass bowl
But I ache to know, what is the world doing out there? I get up and pace to the other side of the cage, searching what I see around me and as covertly as possible, I glance around looking at all the angles where I think I have worked out where the cameras are hidden.... as I know he’s watching me .... and so what does that mean? is it just part of his spy work? or does that mean that he cares or .… how can I not be cynical? My track record with people is just not great—present situation a great example; see what happens? I land in a dungeon
And —where is he? where is he now .... ? —now—as I sink and steep inside my tunnel vision and feel the walls contour and feel suffocated and squeezed airtight shut within these walls ....
like a padded cell, I think, trapped in a cell …. for celves
do you hear the best when the noise sounds out all reason?
if this is Paradiso why does the staircase goes down?
No comments:
Post a Comment