Electra’s dictionary & Film Noir (jm muse chronicles)/Vol2 Level 2 Vampires in the night; 10 May 2020

“I am the son
      and the heir
            of a shyness
                 that is criminally vulgar


I am the son and the heir
Of nothing in particular”

 —lyrics from the Smith’s song “How Soon is Now”

https://youtu.be/OztC_7nkAd8





is there always a trade-off attached to a lie 

   —just to belong—to any social acceptance?

**********


{the mirror is held by the Vampire to allow reflection as he is the only one capable to guide as he bears the counter weight of identity as suggested in Platonic philosophy}~why the Vampire is guide

**************
dictionary, Vampires in the night....



Even as he gets up in the middle of the night when he receives a sudden call that wakes us and mysteriously leaves with only a kiss on the lips as explanation

returning hours later, some time late afternoon with not a word of his doing

he says to me,
“something is going on with you, you are being emotionally unavailable.”

he says this in a Spock-ish way, or the way Darwin might inspect an ant

It is possible to speak across the way because the acoustics echo off the high ceiling —like an auditorium or.... a theatre

It is now some time after two PM....never mind that

he stands by the front door— which is visible from the view of the kitchen window seat

I watch him with his laptop perched on the console as he looks up from his laptop to glance at me as he scrolls through his usual columns of endless data; I can tell this by the set of his posture and his expression

“Have you even looked long enough from your screen to see me? —but never mind that you took off in the middle of the night!” I say biting an apple seed and playing with the stem

And I notice by how he turns to look at me —that for a moment he is furious

I just shrug

Suddenly he laughs .... he taps something on the keyboard and shuts the laptop to walk over to me

I notice he’s wearing his running clothes. He’s all in black, like a ninja

“Where did you go?” I ask him

“You know I can’t tell you,” he says this and draws his brows as he stares the vampire stare at me before he says, “you’re not insinuating I am returning from some clandestine liaison....because you’re not the jealous type—“

“I’m not?” I ask and say, under my breath, “dangerous liaisons?”

“Well—“

“What ever gave you that idea?”

Jörn shakes his head and laughs,
“we both know that’s not where I’ve just come back from, I wouldn’t openly take a call in front of you and take off to—“

“Well ok—no, I wasn’t thinking that’s what was going on, but still.... I thought nobody is supposed to be traveling around now,” I say

“Well, actually, I do get clearance because—“

“Oh, right, you’re ‘Special Secret Spy Services’ I keep forgetting,” I say

which makes him laugh at me

“I also take back roads and avoid authorities,” he says this like an aside and half under his breath and then looks directly at me with a devilish glint he says, “I am an essential worker.”

“I knew you were going to say that,” I say

“There’s a case, duva, it’s nothing to do with you but it’s something that’s going on that I am not allowed to discuss and to be honest, I wouldn’t even want you to know about—“

“Really? What— you think I’m too dim witted or am I too much of a pussy to know?”

“Why are you deflecting?” he asks suddenly as he studies me, “you’ve been acting so strangely.”

“Have I?”

“Yes.”

“Since when?”

But he begins to lose his patients with me and pulls out a chair to sit by me at the table

“Something is going on,” he looks at me to read me, “you’re not telling me —but I know, I can feel it,” he says


*****

Is belonging a human need for surviving?