06 January 2024

Cards on the table —left




She found it strange to return to the town after the holidays 

finding Christmas —cards on the table as she’d left them there before dashing off for the airport …. the reengaging was something she’d dreaded ….

like returning arriving after the party’s over

the lights all still up…. in town; winter with its whisper, frozen and all aglow; lit up huge silver bells flanking one door and glowing rather more gold in the early evening light. Where was the snow this year? you would think the mountains would be thick in white by now ….

Faun sat in her car for awhile lost.in.thought.lost

she stared at something but didn’t see as she thought about where she’d been …. she had feared returning to this quaint little town after…. after. . . . 

she closed her eyes and put her face into the car steering wheel. she concentrated on the sound of her own breathing. she reminded herself …. how to 

then sat straight up …. they have no idea …. here ….it is easy to jump through worlds once it’s become second nature…. she felt her put her arms through herself like a sweater and merge again more whole ….and Grant ….?

For awhile she just breathed as she thought about him 

she had spent the holidays with people she’d not seen for years—Faun’s checkered past? checked, yes the rest is anyone’s interpretation she often thought

     ….Grant 

they had left things so oddly 

15 December 2023

05 December 2023

just somebody I once knew; East Northport place

me at 15


Vanderbilt property

Oregon.It looked like mars

Northport Long Island NY; equestrian competition; photo taken by mom

Ashland OR

leaving Berkley Michigan 2017

Royal Osk MI last place with #2

2019

Talent Oregon

Colton


 

23 November 2023

Was that English mystery for ‘tea’ down the wrong side a side street

 

      In the end, Faun did wind up in Grant’s….


 it’s best not to get ahead of things, certainly, but, with the amount of chaos two teenaged girls can create and having to unknot the damage —an overcharge that was fixed with a refund for six thousand dollars; a complaint from someone in Berlin Germany for a phone call about a book they didn’t order that woke them in the middle of the night (Jennifer was still not getting the dialing sequence must be cleared by hanging up the receiver, not by pushing the red light) —and a few confusing issues they seemed to be having with ….money—as in the physical kind. So, their total disregard for safe keeping the cash went right over their heads. Several times Faun had found the cash register drawer left open so….


By the time the mothers —Paula and Pamela of Jessica and Jennifer (respectively) came to collect the girls (Jessica at 6:03, Jennifer at 6:07) 


when Grant found Faun in the cash office counting down the drawer—and having problems making it balance with the estimated cash deposite ….

he found her looking disheveled with the frustration of the task in front of her; her glasses askew on her face and her hair standing up in places where it looked like she had pulled at it in a kind of frustrated fit, juxtaposing the teal colored tweed skirt and matching suit jacket otherwise smart ensemble, contrasted by a cream colored satin blouse that had a long ribboned tie and pearl buttons. 

Her little ballet pumps with the big buttons, he noticed, were kicked off by feet, outlined in opaque black tights 

“You look like you could use a drink,” Grant said as he, after the fact, tapped lightly in the door as if meant as a knock 

Faun looked up,

“Oh do you have one?” as she looked hopefully for this possibility 

Grant laughed,

“I know where Arthur hid his sherry but I was thinking more along the lines of going somewhere—would you eat fish? There’s a place I read about….”

Faun stared at him for a moment. She was still adding and subtracting in her mind. 

And wasn’t there something she was supposed to …. make him suffer for …. a little longer?

“Ummm—but—oh! My wall!” as it hit her just then what it was she had meant to be asking about 

Grant went over to the desk where she was, took all the cash and put it in an envelope—

“No wait—that’s not the deposit—that has the base fund; I can’t make it balance—“ she was saying as he was still removing the cash from her fingers

“You need to get out of here, I think,” he said this as he placed the cash and the till into the antique safe and quickly shut it.

He turned and looked for her coat, recognizing the dark green adirondak coat,

“Let’s go,” he said slipping a hand under each of her arm pits, and while holding her coat, pulled her up from the chair, “the deposit can wait—I’ll clear it with the boss, so, don’t worry.”

The sea food place Grant had read about seemed to be very good; it had a waiting cue. But Grant insisted they wait and order drinks. Faun would be willing to swear it was a margarita. At least the first one was. And she would be willing to swear the seafood was probably amazing.

What were they talking about?

The Bishops….the shop….his childhood, where he grew up….he made her laugh at things he talked about….

It was just a bit hazy. Except for his eyes—as she could not look at anything else as they sat at the table….and what he said….everything he said….and for the first time in forever, she forgot to be self conscious and relaxed next to him

There was that moment after the paying of the check when Grant was helping her on with her coat

“Oh no….” Grant suddenly had said as they headed out towards the door to go and now —watching how often Faun paused to study the textures of the wallpaper 

“Hmmm….?” she was, at that point running her fingers over the velvety texture as she walked and humming to herself 

“You can’t drive,” he said 


His meaning wasn’t clear until they were outside.

“It’s so hazy out,” but she was squinting and then dropped the car keys in the little snow drift by the car door. “Shit.” And fell down on top of the drift. 

It was when she decided she felt comfortable there that when Grant leaned over her and said,

“give me the keys,” the other thing he said finally made sense 

After that 

It was awhile in the car. How long was she staring at the glove compartment? And still in the restaurant’s parking lot.

Finally she thought to look at Grant. He seemed to be having a personal conversation with himself. The tequila was making it harder for her to grasp most of it—or was it the translation? 

“Key…”he said under his breath and looked from the key to the areas of the antiquated steering wheel and dashboard. He tapped the spot when he located it with the key—but was not in a hurry to insert it. He let out a breath. “Right side….” he said aloud. Then looked at the key again. Another deep breath. “Two lanes —yellow lines….how do you turn right?”

“It’s two left turns,” Faun suddenly said

“Sorry?”

“Going back,” she clarified, “I mean from here.”

“Oh….that’s even better….”


But Faun did not remember the journey back.   

There was a moment she heard that terrifying sound of car horns being blown as they drove by some cars and someone yelled something that sounded like,

“pick a fucking lane—your other left asshole!!”

but it made sense with her dream somehow—so,

 it wasn’t until she was dumped actually into his bed       —quite similar as she had been the last time, as a matter of fact