It begins to reveal itself

2:15 PM

First layer of paint begins

Think of this as a pause between seasons in my journal writing

 ~even as I know the plot line .... as sometimes I go within myself for awhile, go inside the crypt 

~to continue it, because the dictionary goes on and 

we are hung by a thread with a cliffhanger because ..... it is

a dare from an echo

wishing for reflection 

only if it is actually heard 

31 December 2019 thus far today

at 12:34 ....

day 2; rough sketch

May need four more panels and a very big wall

‘the pirate and the dove’ begins today

my present studio

starting to sketch the piece onto two canvas panels

My mother’s old easle 

starting this piece from the bottom

missing summer hikes

(embracing the inner grinch)

one of a few snakes I have caught on video

Where does a person go to find peace when everything everywhere reminds you of what you have lost or never had

also from this summer; an insomniac playing with the animation loop

plays and ....keys

but before we go he draws me back as I stand to sit with him,

inside long legs in front of the piano, he stretches.... we sit at the keys, 

he lays his fingers over mine and lightly guides me to play chords ....

something he likes to do but we have not done for awhile ....not since we came here, I realize ....and as always it turns into this.... his mouth along my neck as together we play the keys; the way his fingertips touch and press into my fingers on the keys

it is some familiar arrangement we always play; a pattern, like a language between us and as always, it turns into something else, like how he puts his mouth along my neck from behind me and finds the place to sink his teeth

By design or by arrangement....?

woven thoughts in a wormhole fabric of time

I meet Gandalf on the mountain top; and as we fall, on the way down, with the Balrog raging below, his venomous steam of poison spitting up at us, and as we descend into Moria—Gandalf asks me,

“what would you say was your greatest sin in your lifetime?”

I reply, without hesitation,

“naïveté .... what was yours?”

“Faith in humanity....” and adds, “but not faith in the Hobbits....”

and as we fall I find I have a moment to wonder: 

how many lifetimes for the pirate to arrive on time?