was reminded the 26th, yesterday ….that looms its wake upon me still
was the day my mother died
27 July 2024
24 July 2024
Greg&Diandra/Watch out for those spider reflexes!
While the grooms wore the dark midnight navy blue, the bride’s maids gowns were that kind of pale, shimmering rose-gold, of a glossy satin silk; the gowns were long, yet a simple slip dress style with spaghetti straps that had a slit up one leg and a scalloped edge. When she walked her long legs slid out from beneath, the satin fabric sliding smooth along the length of her leg. It was hard not to stare as she walked under the lighting and notice how well it became her complexion.
They started towards the dance floor area where the band’s loud music was blasting but he took hold of her wrist and lead her away from this direction and then it was clear he was guiding her outside
“I’m sorry, were you set on dancing?” he asked and reached inside his suit jacket
“Greg!” she looked oddly at him and edged back towards the direction of the entrance
“Look, I just need to know—how much do you know? Ok? Just tell me straight all the shit you’ve heard about me!”
He began in a suppressed tone. Then ended with a not so suppressed tone
Diandra knew him well enough to brace herself for that but once over, she stood her ground and calmly said,
“I suppose I know all of it.”
Yet she turned away after she said this. She knew how he’d be looking at her.
When his fingers bit into her arm to pull her, her street smart reflexes kicked in and —even with the gown and kitten heels, she elbowed him hard and shook him off
“Oh! Sorry!” Diandra said looking up at him after, “I’ve toughened up since you knew me. Had to—lived in Detroit awhile….” But she looked at him, “I get funny when I get man handled unexpectedly ….and yes I know about that.”
“About….?”
“Your record.”
He looked at her blankly that way he has
“I know, ok? All of it—“
“All what?!” he moved to swing her round again, but she moved faster and warned him with her now wild eyes …,he knew those eyes. Remembered how they looked that night ….he shook himself to clear his head and stood back
“I kept in touch with your sister—she never told you? I know about the embezzling, the sex offense, the anger management program—“
“Ok….”he stopped her but gently now this time when he grabbed her it was gentle as he covered her mouth to stop her words. “Ok,” he repeated in a whisper; he caught her to him so that the back of her was leaned against him and his hands covered her mouth. He buried his face into the top of her head and breathed deep the clean scent of her hair.
He had not known his sister had ever been close to her. How had this escaped his awareness?
“Did Hild know about ….?” he had to ask
“No!” Diandra spun around to face him, “of course not! I never told anyone—did you?”
He just stared at her a moment, she looked so beautiful in the moonlight. Then he realized she was cold, seeing her nipples in the light, he shrugged off his jacket just as some guests were walking out towards their cars.
“So then why?” Greg asked as he put his jacket around her shoulders
She slid her arms through even as the sleeves fell long past her hands, she was glad for the warmth of it
“Why what?” but this time it was Diandra who did the grabbing by pulling him by his tie and looked up into those tempestuous eyes. And for a long moment they were caught up in each others eyes searching for their questions answered
Social code
It was not until the day of Imogene’s wedding that Diandra caught any sight of Greg again; first during the ceremony as it was impossible to avoid seeing him (he wasn’t at the rehearsal), among the grooms and Diandra one of the bride’s maids
But now with the ceremony past and the dinner underway he appeared behind her shoulder in a gorgeous formal navy blue suit that matched the grooms
“Care to dance, Miss Pim?” his eyes and expression unreadable
“Oh!” Diandra was taken off guard, surrounded by a table full of well dressed wedding guest diners, she looked up at him having stammered and did the only social response that could immediately occur; she folded her fabric napkin, put it on the table and stood up —and as she glanced up at him, he pulled back her chair
Byronic rue
Diandra did not see Greg again after that and she had not expected to.
And she found herself going back to the old familiar streets.
How strange are streets, aren’t they? Like mute walls that don’t talk; how many scenes have they seen over how many lives?
She instinctively found the old paths to all the old places she would go ….and remembered her mind. Her mind. To put your foot upon a step you once walked and recall the exact emotion of ….
she stood stock still. As if something physical had grabbed hold of her throat. It was a physical jarring shock of pain as if started from the solar plexus and —it gave her pause.
She walked over to a nearby bench and sat to think about the Diandra that she was then. The one just starting out.
And her eyes moved across the landscape. She remembered always looking for ….him ….across the horizon of the landscape. She knew his walk from far away. Knew his silhouette. And yes, always, she could sense when he would come.
She also knew …. when he put up walls there was no use even trying —but, she’s not a liar; it had to be said because she knew. How could she pretend not to know? But then, that she was even sitting next to him should have said whatever he doubted about her.
23 July 2024
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