It has occurred to me, as often I know I have said; but then I forget…. but I desperately need my walls. Whatever the form they may take; mural or physical large work …. or even a heavy knife
I start to open the large pre-stretched canvases that are sealed in protective wrappings and for hours I stare at them. I am thinking. About so much. And I do not have words for my thoughts lately.
I feel like a bumper car stuck in a corner at the fair. I think about this. And the still life’s or scenes in my head to paint as I can see them. And even as I see them. Watch them. My inner eye is turned elsewhere
So I don’t even see the blank canvases anymore.
I sit on the floor of this fresh new art studio he has built just for me. I think. And wonder
….
So many things form your mind. Some things you accept but others you do not.
What am I doing here? I wonder ….to find out our ‘WhatIf’ story after? ….we closed that book so long ago
Do I really matter to him? I wonder. Actually matter
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