Tonight

tonight like a nocturnal, feral cat I walk the late night streets, I pass a bum along my path crossing the river’s bridge; arguing with what’s inside his fist. I step aside him by the curb and suddenly he sees me and for a moment and —seems to come to his senses as he apologizes to me.but it does not matter to me as long as he keeps his hands away from me, I walk by and continue down the road ….i don’t care anymore.I’m sick of the feeling I am caged ….and so I wander aimlessly thinking about dumb things about the world I can’t do anything about. sad things. so the sadness takes over and I walk and I walk and ….then I think about all those people ….i knew —was with …. and as I walk, I know I’d never turn back for anybody I ever was with and foolishly hung up on ….they just weren’t good enough really. I’d rather have more living space than be cramped by some dumb guy who could not appreciate me because they were just that shallow ….and I realize I’d never be able to just go walk in the middle of the night alone when I was involved with them….yeah it gets lonely but it’s even more lonely when you’re married to or just with the wrong guy and you know it; which was always the case for me…. it’s such a pretty night. All the stars are out 

surreal