Electra’s dictionary & film noir/jmmusechron;Purpose refrain

 

I have become so rather lost in thoughts. I have digressed so many times. 

as things keep interrupting my thoughts—yes, 

so I forget where threads got left hanging there

can you imagine a thought like that?yes, that is what this sort of open-knot-work has become

;some spider who gets interrupted 

and all the weave 

is fraying 

and the spider is left hanging 

I wonder if this is the lesson after all —the net cannot hold the trapeze artist. 

Only some of you will get that. 

Or caught in her own weave?

I don’t know…. 

so, it seems I get so rather lost in my thoughts on some dusty road whilst running away from constant surveillance;the suspicious eyes of a retired agent …. and only want to get

Lost ….

But actually do

and even my phone seems to be caught in Bermuda’s Triangle; a tiny wheel inside it mocks me as it spins for several long minutes where google maps is claiming to be   

so get out of the car and look around realizing there is nothing around.

but does it really matter.

I half think I purposely got myself lost here so as 

….I’d not have to go back.ever.but now it is quite terrifying to realize no one will look for me.or know I was here.or came here.or care.

Those moments when you evaluate your life. And yourself.sometimes I wonder how it felt for Moses coming down from the mountain 

There is a random old log sitting on the dusty dirt road and so I sit down on it and try and clear my thoughts. 

What have I gained from all this exploration ….have I learned?

Yes.actually. And documented it all here in code. 

And had I ever tried to go mainstream in the past it would have been a waste of time, and I always knew this but then —I guess I believe the world wasn’t ready for anything I had to say. But that was true for Socrates. But he was Socrates. But how would anyone have known of him had he never tried to argue? But he was Socrates. 

this is the debate team in my head.and so I do actually feel about to fall apart there right in the middle of that depressing dirt road when out of nowhere I hear the loudest helicopter overhead and ….speaking of spiders ….something drops down very much like one —with golden hair

“Duva—I know you said you want no part of our schemes—“ as if he was just returning from the shops, hardly taking a breath 

“I —never—actually ….said that….” I stare at him 

And then look up as I see the helicopter from the hover just suddenly takes off 

I look up at Jörn and then at the car,

“uhhh—I’m lost and I’m having car issues so….” I look back up at the now long gone helicopter