Only as I step down inside it, the darkness within surrounds me; just like that, like a blackout. is it a flatline….?
….but the breathing is hard
….he says to
The day suddenly got so chill. the curtain blown a cold with its waves of violence and shudders across the globe; are we really here again —I should not wonder again only why must the cost always prey upon those who never had a part of the bargain…?
everywhere. Such misery. Bleakness. Such bad news from people ….the climate of the chess board; it mirrors everywhere. The darkness that looms…. It is here
And…. it all seems so worthless ….
what was the point of any of the victories if you never get anywhere, it depresses me ….do I want to be a member of such a club?
& where is the Greek chorus when I really need one ? me —speak a voice to —what? them? such idiots. all of them…. instead of Shirley Valentine, I am Mulan
“Come here,” he says
but where is he? As it was dark stepping down into the boat and then —something came over me; it was the darkness ….but now my eyes adjust and then sounds too…. the lapping of the water is now mixed with …. running water, like a waterfall so, I follow the sound
It leads me within wood paneled walls to a shower running within a glowing light and there is Jörn stripped down and getting his hair wet under the water as he waves at me to come
I laugh, and look around behind me,
“no way! Somebody will come!”
“Don’t be an idiot,” he says and waves at me again to come
“So why am I doing this?” I laugh, but go anyway, “I just bathed, so I don’t think—“
he gets out dripping and starts removing garments off me as he says—peeling my jacket snd cardigan off together and then over my head, I’m buried —he says through my tshirt,
“this is not to shower, so be quiet.”
I laugh,
“oh I get it—“
“Think of it as a baptism,” he says this, by now it’s possible to see his face but only just as he works his way down quick and says, “get in,” with a nudge
“I don’t really want a shower—“I say as I get pushed in but —it is actually warm and nice, “a baptism….?” as it only now occurs to me what he said, “so is this your boat or —“ I start to sit down on the bottom but he pulls me up as he gets back in
our voices echo weirdly inside the shower stall
“It’s like a—“ and he smiles in that way as I look up
I say,
“are you going to say like an Airbnb”?”
He laughs,
“you’re starting to get things now—“
“so, how is this a baptism?”
“Be quiet a minute and close your eyes,” he says
so I listen to the water with my eyes closed and wonder if it is meant to be the waters of Lethe? ….Virgil ….maybe, this is his attempt at being symbolic or….no, I am wrong because —then I feel his teeth on my neck as ….his arms come around from behind me as —then I feel his mouth kiss my neck….hmmm
“is it that kind of baptism?” I ask
but his hands wash me instead,
“I said be quiet,” as he soaks my hair and starts washing it
“So glad I put make up on today—“
“You really don’t listen,” he says but kisses me
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