some silences are more deafening than others

why the rush now—? ….well, it is something about necessity and timing; but as things turned out, I never got to proofread before she sent it. some things I’m not happy about; some missing dialogue and bad transitions, and worst of all, and rather quite important; a lot of missed details in the intro; some necessary archetype-like images of the dictionary never made it from my notes…. but dictionary, we will never say about what bombs were falling when I was writing it ….if they only knew …..such as, right now, I am in the middle of a Doctor Zhivago lifenovel….and trying not to let it show 

So, the draft; a very rough diamond in the rough; maybe it requires much more chipping but so burnt on what I cannot write here about…. well, how final is a final draft? flies in the ointment smear clarity; bad first impression/anyway

….these are the worst days, so absolutely out of battery is it just out of habit I cling? as it is mission, it is also lifeline; now such a threadbare rope….