Film noir : The other woman; troubles in paradise




“I am curious about something, min lilla duva,” he looks at me where we are inside the wide sunken tub

I lean against the side that touches the wall but with my chin upon my knee because I’m concerned about.... something Nigel has just sent

It is as a photo he took from his phone

a blurry image yes but —of someone who looks a lot like Jörn.... same thick blonde hair and wears the same black blazer and.... the same shoes he wears for concerts

and this person is ....embracing a woman in the photo and so

I am troubled.... and so

as his hand reaches for me to lay along my right knee he studies me

and yes I find I am troubled too staring into the smokey shadows of those electric eyes that —have their own measure of supernatural powers

“You say that you were to be sent away when your mother told you about your real father,” he stops and watches me

“What about it?”

but then I realize now ...that I have seen this woman before!  and it occurs to me in that instant from where.....!

“Why were you not sent?”he asks

I look at him cautiously,
“why is this so important to you? Are you just curious? You know, you are as bad as Nigel who—as you know, is a doctor of psychiatry and ....he was always putting me on the couch with his laboratory rat experiments on my head..... don’t analyze me,” I say sharply and pull away

I can feel his reaction to my words because he only sits quietly

He lets it go awhile

Then he says,
“what’s bothering you? You have been very strange since.... “ he moves abruptly in the water causing waves of uproar, and it makes me look over at him, “you went to your phone right after we.... who texted you?”

I say,
“You want to know why? I got very sick. That’s why they didn’t send me away. But now you answer me please, and tell me why do you want to know these things about me?”

“What kind of sick? What happened?”

I shake my head,
“I.... it was bad—you know.... from the belting ....” I don’t look at him, “but why must you ask me these things! Why is it so necessary for you to know?” and I half shout this

I know he wants to ask more but he holds off

After some thoughts on this that I turn over and over

along with how much of my guard he requires

 I decide to just say,

“that is what the doctor in Holland years later discovered about me. That was the first damage to my spine —before my assault at college—“

“That you believe your father was behind,” he interjects

“Yes. From things that were said to me during the assault.... You see, I —guess I went into .... a kind of shock from the beating ....and also from what they were telling me ....I think it traumatized me because I just —I don’t know, I kind of just got stuck in-side....there— I couldn’t get out of it —I just seemed to.... get separated .... I don’t exactly know how to describe how, but I just kind of went into a —separate world....”

where we left her

And now I dare to meet his gaze and shrug, “so yes, I am feral you see? The wild thing who got kicked around so .... stray cat, street urchin—your parents are right. What do you want with someone like me?”

“Tell me, what do you mean your separate world?”

But I can’t take his gaze on me .... survival of the fittest

I decide to reach for my phone, “who’s this? I saw her in pictures Andreas sent from South Hampton, who is she?”

Now he gets taken aback as he sees the photo text

“Who took that picture?” he asks me

“Can you please just answer one of my questions? Who is she?”

“That’s my wife,” Jörn says with an irritated shrug

“What is she doing in the Hamptons?” I ask becoming enraged “oh let me guess, is your mother plotting to reconcile you by getting all cosy with her?”

“Who took this picture?” but he answers his own question when he takes my phone from me and hisses, “Nigel?”