Electra’s dictionary Noir/Of copycats & codes(jmmusechron)

 

Jörn suddenly asks,

“so, you and your daughter are talking again?”

“Oh—you read that in my ….”

“Blog,” he finishes my thought

“Mostly just texts for now, but we have talked, yes. After all these years …. but yes…. we had a four hour phone call of us mostly talking about writing and art ….”I look outside and find myself thinking about her back in Michigan. Then after a moment lost in thought I shrug the nostalgia off, and pause before I say,“but ‘between the lines’ we tackled all the heavy shit. And—well, it is sad but it turns out it was all misunderstandings. Makes me wonder how much Chris might have poured gasoline over things to ….”

“Help turn her against you.”

I shrug and don’t look at him and ignore the heavy weight of his meaning there. I mumble to myself something 

“What did you say?” he asks leaning towards me

I shake my head,

“it’s not worth even saying ….some things ….he’s ….said to me ….recently.”

“You know he’s the narcissist,” he looks at me closely “….don’t you?”

I realize he heard me

“I don’t want to talk about him. He is one of dozens of people in my life I have needed to let go of, I guess it was some kind of overhaul I’ve been going through to edit out the toxic individuals in my life.”

“Like MM?” he raises one brow at me when I sharply look at him “speaking of …. narcissists… don’t drop the project because of….”

“Oh. You…. figured that out….so….you have been keeping up, haven’t you? I didn’t know you had the time.”

“Stake outs get pretty tedious and mind numbing when you have to wait wondering if you are about to get blown up….” he remarks casually 

“Shit—Jörn! Where—?!”

He raises his good hand and shakes his head,

“don’t ask….”

“I —see…. well, I’m glad I can provide you with some distraction….”

“Is your daughter writing with you now?”he seems genuinely interested

I laugh,

“it’s the other way around. She has a few stories and ….well, you know…. it’s what we always did together before. It’s fun. She likes a different genre so—I like her stories…. and they’re fun so ….I’ve been assisting her for ideas when she gets stuck on plot lines. It’s ….yeah…. It is actually a lot of fun,” I chuckle, “but I’ve always found her fun. I’ve missed her so much…. and I’ve really missed it. These things we used to do….” I stop to collect myself but then…. “Hard to believe it’s been so many years ….she was just out of high school then ….years. Like….over six…. It doesn’t feel like it when we talk or text or work together….so weird how even with our separation she has so many of my traits….” I laugh at the irony. 

only I am no good talking about myself. 

I never could share. never knew how. strong silent type….the growing up years of my own ….kept me there silent in the corner ….where they sat me in fears of the belt valet

you never learn how ….so instead you learn how to write in code….and become uncomfortable now when you try

“Anyway…. So…. My blog—Jörn …. I assume it’s you—I mean, you know—the blog hits….?” I ask him carefully 

But at first Jörn seems not to understand what I mean 

after a moment he smiles as he realizes my question 

“You mean—“ he hides another smile and then chuckles, “your cryptic posts ….which can seem like—are they codes ….or part of the story? yes, it was me, I got your messages—” his tone at first is teasing as he chuckles but then more searching as he now narrows his eyes on me; today more grey reflecting the day, with specks of taupe, “what was that ‘copycat’ you mentioned?”

“What? ….oh…. yeah—well, there were similar hits but —I don’t think they were you.”

“Then who was it, duva?” he meets my gaze, “you need to watch that….be careful.”

“Watch what? It’s not like I’m leaking secrets because I don’t know any!”

“Well, the copycat doesn’t know that, do they?”

Electra’s dictionary pirate noir (jmmusechron); radio signals🎭

 

I am silent as Jörn checks his phone for messages and emails and turn away slightly so as to allow his requirement of privacy and yet, this affords me the opportunity to look again at the unopened message still causing me confusion and glance at him

The only part of the unopened message reads: <hey, I know it’s been a minute but —have you ….>

“Does Willem know your whereabouts?” I ask carefully

Jörn stops reading something on his phone to look at me,

“have you heard from him?”

“I….” 

“You have,” he reads me

“I wasn’t sure….” and sigh with resignation and move closer to where he remains propped in the corner of the hide’s wood structure 

He gives me a look and reaches his hand out and waits for me to hand him my phone 

Again I sigh with resignation but this time with a heavier sense of indecision and I still grip my phone as I hand it to him

Again that look at me with those kryptonite vampire eyes that have powers beyond my understanding and immediately I release my grip

“Why didn’t you open it?” he looks up from my phone, finger hovering over the message

“I guess I wasn’t sure….”

He nods at me thoughtfully before looking again at my phone. It is a long look he gives me,

“how….” and now he studies me more critically taking in my full appearance for the first time since I discovered him here, “how have you ….been?” and narrows his eyes on me, observing me much too closely 

“What do you mean?” I ask him

“Well, before I left here, last time, I bumped into Smulligan down at ….” he waves to indicate FBI headquarters which is not too far from where Sunny’s property is by car

“Oh? And?” I ask 

“Stina was there….” 

I look away,

“does she seriously still want me to ….”

“Stina does not give up that easily,” he chuckles to himself. But I feel his gaze remain upon me and with it, those omniscient invisible tentacles that miss nothing and after a pause he says, “you’re too thin, duva, I am concerned and ….at least if I know you are reporting back to someone I’d…. be able to focus better….”

I suddenly look at him as his remark quite surprises me

“Jörn ….” and shrug, “how am I….” I say aloud thoughtfully and look away again to consider how best to reply. Only it occurs to me that…. no one has asked me that in so long; not even the Celf. “I am ….” and get stuck on how to answer “I don’t know…. Ok, I guess…. but…. I suppose I miss some semblance of—home….you know.”

“You were ready to leave the Adirondaks,” he says 

“I know but — don’t you miss the philharmonic? Our life back there?”

He smiles and suddenly gives me an uncharacteristic playful wink and pats a spot closer next to him, and when I move closer, he pulls me inside his arms with my phone,

“I know I must reek of sweat and blood,” he says in apology as I lean against him

“It’s not so bad,” I tell him, “it’s not like I’ve never sat in a sauna with you or—other things, and I’ve missed your smell.”

“It must be love,” he teases, “you open it,” he gives me the phone and I open it with him there

<hey, I know it’s been a minute but —have you ….seen anything of moose over there?>

I glance up at Jörn now

Jörn taps my reply into my phone with my hands still holding it,

But to my surprise he taps back

<crab fishing>

I look up at him but he just looks at the phone 

It is only about forty seconds when Willem’s reply comes 

<I thought herring was on the menu>

Jörn replies 

<the red herring disagreed>

 de nouveau;  télépathique

nous nous connaissons déjà🎭y a-t-il une raison pour que nous nous rencontrions maintenant….;)

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1eRqbbP0SSMJRJ26e2m7wR5D0SKlxoEjH/view?usp=drivesdk

Electra’s dictionary noir/hide and seek

 

I return to the hunter’s hide with a large gallon jug of water and several basics I anticipate he could use in the small hide-out he will have to remain at until he is strong enough to move 

He is awake when I enter the small structure 

“I charged your phone,” I start to hand it to him as I kneel down but he indicates I set it next to him on the floor and as I do I set down his rucksack too that I borrowed to carry things back for him; transportable non perishable food; trail mix; protein bars and anything else of this kind that I could find, “oh—I brought you my phone booster charger so it’s ready when….”I look at him as I set it next to his phone but I see he looks tired and only slightly interested 

“Tack— thanks,” he says and looks back at me, and then says, “for everything….”

“Oh….” I move closer, “can I see?”

“You’ve never been good with blood,” he says, “all the more reason I’m grateful for what you did but—“

I sigh heavily knowing he is right,

“still, it needs to be done….” I dig more things out of his bag, “gauze, antiseptic….” I lay everything out, “oh—“ I take out a large travel mirror, “I thought you might want to inspect my work just in case, so ….” I lay the mirror next to him, “you must be starving.”

He gives me an ironic look,

“I had roast snake for breakfast actually.”

“What-the-fuck?!”

“I know how you feel about meat so, I wasn’t going to mention it,” he starts to laugh at me but the movement causes pain in the area of the wound. I stare at him imploringly. He makes a small suggestion of a shrug, “it had the audacity to pay me a visit this morning and I wasn’t that comfortable with the social call….”

I hold back the urge to retch but have to turn my face away,

“here’s a tooth brush,” I say and put this next to his phone with some toothpaste with it

I move to prepare changing the gauze and set about to cleanse the wound  

“I think you need some of this,” he reaches with his good arm for the vodka bottle, “you’ve gone a shade of green suddenly.”

“No, I—“ but as I notice the blood seeped through, though now dried, I hesitate. I don’t look at him and just reach for the bottle. And once fortified I hand it back to him and go about the work. 

He holds up the mirror and watches what I do and reaches for the vodka as I start to peel the gauze that sticks to the dried blood 

“So what is the plan?” I ask him as I start to work and wonder if I should mention the message from Willem still left unopened 

 qu'en est-il d'une vraie conversation ?  Je tombe en panne d'essence sans but