Thoughts of the Legend: Electra’s dictionary

05 July 2022

apocalyptic emptiness part 2

those strangers you meet

you like a foreigner

in conversation

fill in the silence and space

of a silence which comes

even among and above and

from the din of the broadcasts

like the drone of the news of the day

the brashness like the announcing of flights…. space oddity

you hope to escape

am I seen when they talk to me?

those strangers where I am

a stranger

in a strange land

do they see me

when they kiss me,

are they there

they touch but don’t feel

are not there at all

are they as real as these words on a page?

like the storm you cannot see

has cast us away

keys to electra, encore

my mother had a wicked, somewhat sadistic sense of humor

as a kid I was tested to be allergic to wheat after returning from a school field trip where the youth hostile we stayed at was directly next to a wheat farm in England and I came back violently ill. She was very much involved in astrology and so she got a big laugh at me and said, “you’re allergic to yourself!” —you see, because the symbol for Virgo is harvest and wheat. Years later right before I moved out, one day it was this time when I was desperate to get to work or I’d lose my job. We’d had a very big snow storm and a tree had fallen on top of my car from all the snow. So manic was I digging it out and wrestling this tree as —I’ve always been this size and could have used some help

she took pictures

I’m a masochist and desperately loved her till the end and still do which should explain so much of my complexities psychologically —what good writing it provides though, hmm?