Thoughts of the Legend: Electra’s dictionary; the Loveletter she left behind

31 October 2025

An artist’s existential crisis

I have found moments often where I lapse silently

internally, though ….

I have been reviewing life

but not just my life—

life ….

those trials we face …. and then do we grow? do we learn? do we just keep doing the same old dumb thing ….?

I don’t know ….do we promise to be better people only to sink right back into unchanged and still repeating blindly, foolishly walking the plank of self delusional doom

for me I am just too tired of the same broken brick road that still goes no where

What does anything mean? I have desperately find I wonder. And ask the darkness for just one answer

Being here now as it is has bewildered me as to how ever any success could have come from the product those two made —what a mess; their mess, yes, alas but whatever that’s irrelevant when the product has to live it….and philosophy is where I’ve reached for any comfort. The mind where reason lives. Where I hide. Where the riddles blow smoke at the mirrors so they see what they think they see

But somewhere I matter and exist

somewhere on some other plain —I know but here right now I have so often asked why such a futile impossible mission fell out of my fortune cookie —pushed out the hatch, there you go, have a good life!

How? Like, give me a row boat and some oars would be a good start….

But Life …. I feel as though everyone is so completely tuned out; programmed into their summa lulled form of pretending

I don’t care then if that is what’s out here

I’m always reviewing it lately; the meaning of etc because the juxtaposition of news of the world and forms of popular entertainment lately are so removed —so living forms are existing now but only physically here; their minds are looped into their systems of whatever matrix they pick….but where the fuck is mine? always these neo moments witnessing the crops for the first time