He said, holding me captive,

 “I am your purpose, never forget that.”

Elan’s life before

When I think of Elan and how most of the images are how it ended, of the capture by the pirate Viking and yet— what of the rest?— the Druid and a mother who were traveling …from ? Only, the Druid was not Elan’s father and was from further away; the people in the village were suspicious of him but he was the healer who sold what they needed. 

the way Elan’s memories ended with the trauma of her death —also dominated the images 

When there is much trauma in anyone’s life, those experiences take over

but I know more of what happened before, I just never felt like it was as interesting to write about as it was rather ordinary. 

There was a small village. Very small. Everyone knew each other. The buildings were very crude. There was a boy on the other side of the villege; he wore a cap and his face was usually dirty from his work. He wore dark trousers and a light colored shirt. He was shy. But so was Elan. 

They would meet out in the field in secret but the Druid found out

The Druid traveled often for his supplies. So he was often away. This made life usually endurable. But it was when he discovered this secret that everything changed in Elan’s life

When the Druid took her, along with Elan’s mother, away, they never saw each other again 

Who was he? Where was this villege? 

 

Table manners with Bran part 1

We sit at the table. I let him decide for me what to order and then he looks at me and stares. It makes me self-conscious so I look away and notice the decor and design of the restaurant. It is a kind of modern bistro with dark midnight blue/black interiors; with candles and bud vases on the intimately placed small round tables and dark linen table clothes. 

“I wanted to take you out, your first night here— I thought before we think about all the details ….” he was saying 

I turn my eyes back to him now 

“Yes,” I say and smile “because I know we will get into it as it’s what we do, isn’t it —but I like seeing what is here—I love the atmosphere,” I was saying 

“Good— because I was thinking maybe we can continue with your history research ….. and choose a different city to explore every weekend….we can drive it and ….” he stops himself and smiles at me, “how do you still look so young—?—you nonsmoking vegan,” he laughs at me, “who still has boys asking her out—it makes me want to ask you this ….” he leans over and says it in my ear 

 

summer vibe comes in

I’ve been spending days at the beach writing and meditating. Continuing the flow of where things take me

as like elan am drawn to the beach and nature and seem best in the outdoors

People watching and meeting people; the summer vibe here is much different, it draws the vacationers and all day men want to pick me up; they stop me. they are much bolder than the local men; I was told today by a stranger how special I am and called “gorgeous” my mood of people is amused and bewildered as soon after another man stopped me and said

“Hey I just saw you at the beach you walked all this way?” (he was riding an electric scooter) 

I’m like, 

“yeah, I like to walk to the beach….”

and proud to tell me he sold chandeliers to our president weekly…. and then— also asked me out— but he asked if I was a college student and then told me about how his daughter was taking over the mortgage of his house as —I guess he was divorcing but ….then that means he thinks I’m …. like —? if she’s taking over his mortgage and he thinks I’m a college student …he wants to be my daddy?I got a sick red flag so— I made an abrupt exit but now I know who to watch for, but the new vibe here yes—I didn’t notice last year so deep in woe about that metal death trap but this year, until I decide where I’m going I am liking the vacation attitude here and the vacationers are very fun to be around and yeah I love the attention 

Bran& Beth/interruptions & instructions

 

It is the sound of a young male voice calling from somewhere far away that causes Bran to suddenly let go 

“Ioan,” he says simply looking regretfully down at me but letting go and stepping back anticipating the appearance of his young son Ioan. I get a glimpse of him and then he looks back at me awkwardly. I see instantly he looks more like Clare, but he stares a bit longer than I expect him to before he does a funny wave before he and his father talk.

“I should get changed,” I say as I start to walk past them to go inside 

Bran calls out,

“go through the bedroom door, it’s unlocked.”

But until he said that I hadn’t realized there was a door that led out to the garden from the bedroom. From outside I had assumed it went somewhere else. There is a pebbled paved walkway through the garden, and it leads to the little patios that I now see one is by the bedroom with chairs and a table which I had noticed but glossed over. 

The door is unlocked, and it is a sliding door which on the inside was covered by long draperies that go all the way across but mesh off to the sides and one side was hiding the door which going back in, I have to move aside

only once I am back in the bedroom do I realize why Bran wanted me to go this way— he managed to slip a surprise for me across the bed. There’s a note attached to a pretty white dress with eyelet and little white satin bows 

I look at the note which says,

‘~Wear this for me tonight x’