sometimes I think it is worse to be inside.like suffocation and the sharp things seem to call one’s name,there is no warmth no comfort and that must be ok, not everyone gets to have those things;the terror is cruel.no safe hugs.no goodnight moon 

for selfish needs and harsh treatment I’d never go back

   ….no.leave me here on the cold stream instead 

The Station

 

The clock at the station moves so slow. Weird echoes of voices and metal bounce from every angle. Footsteps echo 

At the far right is the news stand. There are stacks of papers from every country. The woman in front wears bright colors. Too bright this early. 

A slow walk past the burnt stale coffee and there to the left the exit. Dust particles dance high in the streams of light.

The rush and push out the doors as the heavy subway smells start to engulf 

A shove. A push. 

Expected but not expected

 he stands there 

“you look great!”

don’t quote me quote me

freedom of speech 

The Media 

Banned books

Brave new world 

  an unconscious universal consciousness 

a thought pattern no one may follow 

AI dream ….

the king & x 

down a slippery slope

It is on my way home, I pass unexpectedly someone on the street and 

so I drop my eyes and don’t look up. i find I don’t trust who is out there, the nails in the coffin….et tu Brute….but as I feel my eyes streaming down my face I look up at the man as he sees me and ….he is kind looking and looks upon me with thst all saying sympathy;my tears streaming down my face….his kind eyes with silent words that spoke of what he seemed aware this loss, as any of my gender and his all knowing expression, was like a kind father ….even though he was too young to be mine —it should have shocked me to realize I could have warranted such a response from a stranger as he looked at me ….and would  otherwise have touched me; moved me; maybe? if I were not so chagrined (but I was not tonight;tonight I was just too deep in the terror)would have given me hope that there are still those left but….todsy his overt expression only ….touched me like …. a face in a crowded train …. going the other way 

so I kept walking 

i wasn’t numb 

am not numb 

no.just spent 

the circus is about to begin

mark the nearest exit sign

 

let open to drop like 

into the allegorical canal 

those passages that once connected 

   us 

         you do not care,

 you were never there 

    your words upon my wall were never there at all

our conversations of forgotten dreams

a dimension has left the conversation 

that is the one I miss 

perhaps I saw what was never there