ond yna .... beth ydw i'n ei wybod?

 pwy ydw i beth bynnag

more e.d. ramblings 

there are some things I could never say in the blog. either it is because these things cannot be said in words by me or because there seemed no way to write it as if it is a diary …. 

like our Viking’s backstory —I know his story but it was just not meant to be put in my blog. I don’t blame you to wonder did I make it up? No. It was all there as soon as I stumbled across him in my dreams …. I have only found out recently that most people don’t seem to dream the kinds of dreams I have which —I didn’t know (saga dreams? fully illustrated immersive children book dreams? no? is it a wild imagination?)

….and as well—it is not possible to explain why I say it should be Oedipus’ dictionary, nor why when I say he is the mirror. It would be much easier to say this in a scene with him dressed like Greta that relied heavily on provocative suggestion but not to sexually exploit as there would be another reason to do this scene which —if you really paid attention you would notice I have skirted the crux of the issue of the neurosis and because of its very awkward nature to the author it’s always made sense to do it in a scene with no dialogue 

e.d. note:

 

That scene at the piano when he hears her playing

so maybe season 1 should end the moment he realizes she’s playing the notes of the code

footnote & asides, hashing thoughts of….

(more passing thoughts of….)

there’s too much for thirteen episodes. so much would be cut. so, it occurs to me between 2019 till 2021 is more like three seasons. so a trilogy of ‘the safe’? three levels of divine comedy….so I guess, then ‘the Will’ I’ve begun would actually begin fourth season ….but actually, this way, would allow the story telling not to be rushed and would give more time to build the symbols and develop characters with more opportunities to experiment with mood and imagery and allow the possibility for the body of work to become its own identity 

footnotes for e.d.

 

I am not at all attached to any particular city the story opens in—it does not have to be New York, it can be nearly anywhere; Amsterdam, London, Paris, Stockholm— it just must be a somewhat international and cosmopolitan place that has a symphony orchestra and would be a natural habitat for spy games. I can adjust the plot around it; adjust the infamous and notorious illegitimate father’s political background and life causes 

today’s morass (edited)

as I talk to mm about the scenes and the story she says,

“those flashback scenes; the story of the Viking and duva, —you know, his battle scenes, their journey on the boat—it’s so important to the story….but you know, for it to be done right it ….will be expensive….”

so I think about that

to create modern mythology it really must be perfectly staged —and I am such a perfectionist about what I am trying to say, it’s quite mad I realize—and, I am crazy, we have established —a mad philosopher/artist and I can’t help it, I won’t rest till I do this only…. she is right. so how do I pander myself if this is what is required? 

….popular genre, love story, struggles with modern day themes of identity

 —I don’t think I’d be required to pander —plus there is the tongue in cheek James Bond storyline—but in my noir world which ….is a bit fucked up—but that can be fun…. especially when he dresses dresses like Greta (but that would require no dialogue and subtlety of angles and shadow to convey the mirror/with the secret he stands for) …. I could spend a month on the storyboards alone …. like the scenes at the piano and the shadows on the wall ….but so many scenes to get through…. and an adhd mind with a plethora of thoughts constantly cramming every idea

Hitchcock noir and horizontal blinds (to refer to the parallels of the lives)…. odd angles from down the hall and the triangle of light from a single lamp …. too many details? see, I don’t know when to stop

monsters in the closet

sometimes I get the feeling it is the need to distract from so much pain so, I just make myself do outrageous things …. otherwise I would go back to what I used to do…. I think that’s why I keep running but—you know, I can’t run away from it because…. it is—in here 

 [desperate hour/to delete later]