Notes in effort to find if there is purpose

When you think about the world or the earth, maybe it’s just me, but I wonder about how much it’s valued. 

Looking to move off to Mars

Sometimes I think about the earth this way

Like a ship that has treasures that may one day get lost in a dark abyss

Do connections matter?

Would we remember earth as well and fondly care if there were no physical evidence left? What would Shakespeare mean without Stratford upon Avon or the Globe theatre; a notion; an idea

who would know to feel to care and feel affection for the wistful romance upon the steps of the Montmartre or understand with true amusement what is behind that hidden glory of the architectural reason for the Dutch gables 

Are connections part of the individual whole because of their relation to 

those that know their value 

as it serves to define and measure the individual’s meaning 

Some notes; a side work I’ve been exploring

 

I have always been interested in art movements. When creative minds come together and a great renaissance is born is something to behold among art lovers. 

When we think of how minds shape cultures and what match lit the fire we search for those sources. We search because we wish to see how the ideas were born.

the bus to Sunflower valley continued

When she stepped onto the bus, the very spot she had been standing was at that moment struck by lightening 

It was a moment so electrifying to her senses that it struck her that maybe there was some force watching over her 

The bus driver cleared his throat as the smell of burnt wet leaves mixed with electricity seemed to highlight the present. Soberly he said,

“ticket.”

And for a minute he looked at the ticket oddly. Then punched it with the metal gun that endorsed it.

As she turned to walk towards the back of the empty bus, she heard the driver say,

“was starting to wonder if anyone was getting on after all.”

 

Don’t pretend, it is still a savage world. It is a savage jungle. There is no civilization except the show of it. It’s all façade 

But it could be the moment now when the light shines but I fear what may require this to occur 

Mountain View of the vampire and the dove&dare I suggest purpose

I’ve always felt l have been guided—by angels? well, I have no idea, but weird signals certainly arrive in the nick of time and there’s always that religious moment of relief when there is no argument how illogical that strike of luck just happened to occur just then. 

Wisdom isn’t for the subjective, mind. 

I just write my impressions. 

And…. I think there is a reason why I got the call back to the mountains as November approaches. Whatever the outcome. I remember last time. I was glad to be in the mountains. 

What is out there? 

      there is a world. A dangerous world. What is in here? 

               Our Souls 

                             my heart breaks for all the souls pain out there and ….i do feel it.all of it.too much.emphatically cursed. so I write because I give it back to the universe as it requires 

Like Moses in the mountains we watch like an eagle and adjust the properties of our mural of the vampire and the dove

What does vampire stand for?

You must know by now I meant the vampire “soul”

in bed with a wolf

It was somewhere after passing out and waking to get up in search of the toilet to vomit in and feeling miserable after when she noted the unfamiliar surroundings. Then remembered ….Greg….what was he said about the morning ….? 

But her head was just pounding too hard to contemplate anything in any great depth and it’s funny how the mind goes to familiar things when in a moment of abject misery ….Imogene always kept sodium bicarbonate in the bathroom medicine cabinet next to a handy glass. 

“Aha!” Diandra found it 

Then it was ….two —what do they call them here? In the drawer next to the first aid kit.

After that she got into the shower and sat on the floor of it and let the water beat down on her until the danger red finally went away. 

It must have been after that when she dropped back onto the bed Greg had hours before dumped her in, her hair spilled out in twisted, mad, wet, ringlets and her skin scrubbed to a flush, she fell naked back asleep. 

But as the sunlight later came spilling in with the morning when she opened her eyes 

….there was Greg at the foot of the bed 

The bus to sunflower valley

In the end, it was the sudden bolt of lightening just then 

that decided the matter when the bus came to a full stop 

Choices

she was completely penniless. Broke. Devoid of funds. Ruined

when she, through a haze of blur; tears diminishing perception ….. searching heart, soul, universe …. and there on the ground it was

what ? 

no. Just a ticket. 

It was just a ticket. There. Left on the ground. 

She looked around to see who lost it. The street was completely deserted. A haystack even rolled down the street in derelict sadness. 

After awhile she forgot about the ticket.

She sat down on the ground.

 she didn’t care. She just stared into space. 

Maybe it was an hour. Maybe two or maybe more. So lost in her head over everything she was …. still stunned over ….. to care …..but …..then she looked down 

The ticket 

It was some ticket for a bus ride to somewhere she had never heard of. 

Only…. suddenly— as the sun was beginning to dip ….a chill swept through

….. and she realized

 she had 

                              no …. where …. to…. go….

She looked again at the ticket. Where? 

And where was the bus stop?

But it was really only the dove that fluttered by in its blaze of brilliant plumage that illuminated …..the stop Sign Post

She compared the stop ticket icon to the one on the post.

The ticket said …. 1:06 PM

And now …. looking down at her phone noting the time ….

1:03 PM

How very ….. fucking Alice In Wonderland 

she thought 

She looked around …..there was no one to claim the ticket ….. and she had nowhere to go ….. she looked at the name to the city on the ticket’s destination, it said simply 

“Sunflower Valley”

A bus was heard now in the distance ….it was suddenly in view not too far down the road 

Choices …..

I run.i run like mad.i run to the university to run away from myself.i am lost in thought.i pass two female students who mistake me as one and one calls out to me, “I love your hair!”

I look over my shoulder to see if she meant someone else.no, me

and find I don’t know what to make of this. 

the home inside

I have lived in the mid Atlantic, on the west coast, I was born in the south, lived in the south, had half an adult life on the east cost and had another half in the Midwest and grew up in another country 

and everywhere I go I take 

     all our celves with us.

always packed light. walk swiftly. don’t stop and see wherever the road leads. 

and 

 find I don’t mind

In the sun

https://youtu.be/U-5r_ZgCVDY?si=L27OiFfMQCimh2Cp

 

🌅

https://youtu.be/YveyvpB8grk?si=8jGBvcb9NbOOtUvC