Faeryqueen

'I think you need to be honest with yourself-- he was destroying you.... everything you gave have he used up; your cars, your credit, your exhaustion.... you were being evicted for the third time.... he drank your rent and blew it on whatever manic idea crossed his mind.... sober is he? What's in there....? He never saw you.... you were a blurry drunken haze; a dream; he never saw you....'

I cry when he says this....

'It was your final martyr act ....and now your true work begins.... you have suffered all human pain now.... you have allowed yourself to experience what human form is.... so now be like a good Tolkien princess and perform your miracles....'

I am crying.... very funny.... he is so cruel. So very cruel....

I must reflect

I see Eliot has texted and I need the distraction

I have come to the conclusion that everyone is crazy

His text is that he is here! I am so happy..,.,! Wow, I was not expecting his presence at all and I feel myself become flushed and stupid

Why does he affect me this way. I look at him and a want to throw up. I mean, I get seasick. I get that weird feeling. What is that? An adrenaline rush.... each time I see him it is better than the last time.... I don't know.... I hate this feeling

I really do

So I have to stop because Bailey is in my head. He is looking at me with concern

'Oh there you go again!' He tilts his head to one side, 'Angel.... when will you ever learn? You've always had that weakness for the boys, but I cannot bare another broken heart of yours, it's just too painful to watch you....'

Already I am crying, and I hear him sigh as I turn to go; just bolt right out of there

This world is crazy or I am or both and isn't it all so fucked up anyway? I am only stretched like that bow; springloaded; about to be jettisoned through outer space

He said breath